You’re afraid to sell or promote your service.
Not only are you fearful of asking and hearing the word, “No,” you’re even more scared what the person or the world will think of you afterwards.
But do you have a magic ball that can predict the outcome and know with certainity the answer is no?
My guess is probably not.
In other words, before you give anyone a chance to reject you, you’ve already rejected yourself by not asking.
How can you determine your competence or the value you provide, when you aren’t on the receiving end?
Let’s do some simple math here…
If you do ask, you’ll have 50% success rate, whereas if you don’t ask, you’ll have 0% of success rate.
I know you understand this logically and even mathematically, but just haven’t convinced your fears to understand this.
Tim Ferris author of the Four Hour week said, “A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”If you are uncomfortable having sales conversations, how do you expect your business to thrive?
Now, let me ask you, how badly do you want success?
As the high achiever I know you are, the answer is probably quite badly as you’re always striving to challenge yourself. Then, let’s talk about the five ways to confront fear…
1. UNDERSTAND FEAR
One of the beautiful things about human beings is the ability to have feelings, so it normal to experience fear, along with happiness or joy.
Can we just take a second and be thankful of that?
So what’s fear?
Deepak Chopra, a spiritual doctor, explains fear as an illusion based on past experience we project onto the present and future.
Fear is created by our self image and not our true self.“Fear is an illusion based on past experience we project onto the present and future. Fear is created by our self image and not the true self.”
When we observe a baby, we’ll notice that a baby doesn’t know fear. She isn’t born with fear of heights.
The newborn climbs whereever she wants and the thought of falling doesn’t even cross her mind.
If she falls and hits her head, then she may associate height with danger and carries this belief into her adulthood.
In other words, our learned belief triggers fear, and you experience fear when there’s a perceived danger or threat. Fear’s job is to protect you.
The common misconception is to overcome fear or be fearless.
This is false.
You’ll always experience fear, just like you’ll always experience happiness and joy.
The events that bring you happiness or fear may change, but the sensation doesn’t.
It’s useless trying to manage feelings, because feelings are like waves.
You can’t stop them from coming back, but you can decide which ones to surf.
You have the power to choose your actions. What will you do with this power?
Feelings are like waves. You can’t stop them from coming back, but you can decide which ones to surf.Jonatan Mårtensson
2. GET A HOLD OF REALITY
Getting lost in your own thoughts and losing track of reality happens.
So let’s face your inner demon by answering the following questions on a piece of paper:
- What’s the worst thing that could happen if you were rejected?
- What do you have to lose?
- On the contrary, if you don’t go for it, what will you lose out on?
Once you finish writing the answers. Read them out loud.
What do you think now?
I bet the answer to those questions are not as bad as we imagined in our mind.
What’s real in our minds doesn’t always reflect reality.
3. REWRITE YOUR STORY AND YOUR BELIEF.
Now that you have identified that you aren’t in life danger like fear otherwise convinced you to believe.
You need to solidify that by replacing your old story with a new one and there’s no other way then to get out there.
You fear rejection? Go out and ask.
The only way out is through.Robert Frost
Ted Talk speaker, Jia Jiang discovered in his rejection therapy to desensitize himself from rejection by seeking rejection for 100 days.
He learned that while many will said no, many also said yes. You don’t have to go to the extreme like him, but the idea is to re-train your body to be comfortable with sensations that comes with fear.
What actions can you take to move forward and rewrite your story?
4.DETACH YOURSELF FROM THE OUTCOME
In school, we’re so conditioned to the outcome– the good grades– that we forget to enjoy the process and the effort that we placed in order to accomplish the outcome.
Take a moment and give yourself a pat on the back for putting yourself out there.
You can’t control what the other person will do, but you can control yourself.
Meanwhile you are out there, allow a different outcome to surprise you.
NO isn’t always a bad thing. Who’s to say a better alternative won’t come along in place of the NO?
Trust everything happens for a reason and make every opportunity a lesson.
5. FAILURE MEANS PROGRESS
In Mark Manson’s book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, he explains that our amount of success is measured by the amount of pain you’re willing to enduring.
Thomas J Water, founder of IBM, also had a similar message, “Would you like me to give you a formula for… success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure.”
The more failure you’re willing to enduring, the more successful you’ll be.
Similiarly, the faster you fail, the faster you’ll be successful.
Just like ketchup and fries, success and failure comes in a pair.
It’s not possible to be successful without failure.
It’s also not possible to have sexy six packs on a perfect beach body without the hours spent in the gym and sticking to a disciplined diet.
Why not reframe your thought to understanding that failure is nothing more than signs of success, rejection is nothing more than part of a process?
P.s. Knowledge is worthless without action, so get in action and start creating your new story.